Christmas break can be a time where we come together with extended family and community. It can feel overwhelming when people start conversations about people seeking asylum coming to their area, about migrants, ethnic minorities, LGBTQ+ community, and women’s roles, particularly if they are repeating divisive and misinformed narratives. All of us are at risk from the confusion and fear caused by disinformation on social media.
The Good News
Research shows that the majority (63%)* of people in Ireland have inclusive values when it comes to welcoming and including people and most people can be persuaded by those they have safe, trusted relationships with. This makes youth workers great messengers and trusted sources of good information. The youth work model also encourages relationship building, values modelling, critical thinking and empowerment – all incredibly important when challenging division in our families and communities.
Responding in the moment to holding difficult conversations
- Check in with your emotions – play for time if you need to.
- Empathy is key to building the connection, focus on your human connection. The Far Right thrive on polarisation and people being isolated
- Lean into empathic listening: if you can’t listen, you can’t understand.
- Explore the feelings in the room. Acknowledge people’s fears and listen deeply.
- Empathise with their feelings about their social situation but not with their conclusions.
- React with curiosity: Where did you hear or read that?
- Be open and non-judgemental.
- Focus on de-escalation and clarity.
- We refrain from using words like racist or far-right.
- We don’t use facts-based or a myth-busting approach unless people ask for information. It is important to clarify without judgement, to leave room for exploration.
- It is important not to interrupt the conversation to correct misinformation.
- People hold multiple views on issues and can hold contradicting views- they might not have had a chance to reflect on those contradictions
- The aim is to find common ground, not to win or convince. It’s a dance, not an argument to win -we might just be planting seeds
- It is a balancing act: it is important to be conscious that you cannot challenge everything, but you also don’t want to collude
- Stories and values move people: bring it back to your inclusive values and vision for the kind of society we want to live in. Telling compelling stories is powerful, particularly if you can connect them with the experiences of the people at the table
- Reflect inclusive values back; you can use value statements like ‘no matter who we are, or where we come from, every person deserves to be safe and secure’.
- Don’t worry about having all the facts – it’s more important to talk about values.
- Don’t be afraid to name the ‘villain’ i.e. social media companies that allow dangerous rumours to spread, people coming into the community to stir hate, or even the local decision makers who don’t deliver what the community needs i.e. affordable homes, GP services, funding for youth projects etc.
- Offer people a vision i.e. ‘We can have a country where everyone thrives, if we look out for and welcome each other.’
- Remember it is a dance, leave the door open to return to the conversation
*Hope and Courage Collective (2023). Something to Fight For (research report)